"I waited too long to read the sequel, and now I can’t even remember the characters."
A novel by me
Man successfully grabs remote without knocking over cheetos, yet remains displeased.
(original gif [x])
This man lives in a world where everybody is in an infomercial. They all screw up simple daily tasks, but not him. Because of his incapability to be incapable, this man is bullied, ridiculed, and shunned by everyone around him. Yearning to fit in, he desperately tries to be clumsy but fails to cause a huge mess.
Until one day when he was confronted by a mugger. The mugger tried to stab him but continuously missed until they stabbed themself. He found his true calling and became a hero, stopping criminals everywhere by using their own clumsiness against them.
THIS FUCKING SITE
when you keep starting your sentence over and over again because no one is paying attention to you
pls don’t expect me not to wear the same jeans every day bc that is unrealistic and unfair
no really i need to know
Okay so the Colbert Report posted a link to the Ellen Page interview, right
And I was already happy it was a fan favorite. But THE COMMENTS
IT’S JUST TOO GREAT
ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND MAPLE LEAF
An infinite amount of multiverses and I had to get stuck in the one without superheroes
How do you become someone who puts stickers on fruit because I think I could do that
The Great Unanswered Question:
What the hell happens to every country on the planet that isn’t the US in YA dystopias
OH MY GOD THE TAG
ok but give me one good reason why you wouldn’t date Kermit the frog besides that he is a puppet and a frog
I can’t beat Miss Piggy in a fight. She’s very strong and knows karate.
Daily Show correspondent Michael Che tries to find a safe place to report from.